If you are a degenerate (chances are since you’re reading this site, you probably already are or on your way to degeneratism), then you’ll want to know which NFL games to wager money on – as long as you live in a country where betting is legal of course.
I’m not going to sell you on why you should trust my picks, because I have no reasons to sell – outside of the fact that I’m right most of the time and probably know more than you do. I kid…sort of.
Unlike other guys who pick games, I won’t be a pus and choose five “key matchups”. I’m going to run down the entire list of games. Enjoy.
(Pick the teams in bold. That’s why they are in bold.)
Atlanta +3.5 @ New Orleans
Forget about last year for a second. Have the Saints shown you ANYTHING on offense so far this season? Excuse against the Vikings was Minny has a tough defense. But against San Fran? Saints are coming off a short week in which they didn’t even get back until 4 AM on Tuesday while the Falcons were in their hotel rooms (most of them at least) resting up. Atlanta isn’t a good road team, but the game is indoors where the Falcons are at their best. I like Atlanta.
Buffalo @ New England -15
Earlier in the week, the line was New England -13, which is when you should have pounced. Regardless, Ryan Fitzpatrick is starting for Buffalo. Need I say more? Pats cover and win by three touchdowns, N.E. fans stop questioning Tom Brady (except the Bieber hair).
Cincinnati -3.5 @ Carolina
Jimmy Clausen is being thrown to the dogs about ten weeks too early and he’ll be going up against a very good defense. If Carson Palmer can stop sucking, the Bengals should win by at least a touchdown. Take Cinci on the road.
Cleveland @ Baltimore -10.5
I’d stay away from this game if possible. I don’t like double digit lines. Even still, the Browns don’t have a chance to score more than a touchdown or at most, ten points against the Ravens defense. I think this is the game Flaaco returns to form from last year and the Ravens win something like 23-9.
Dallas +3 @ Houston
Don’t bet this game. Don’t do it. I’m telling you, even if you win, you will end up with an ulcer that will cost you more than the profit from scoring on the bet. I refuse to believe Dallas will go down 0-3 with the bye in week four. But at the same time, this is Houston’s chance to say “Eff you” to the team that has dominated Texas for a very, very long time. I have no reason to pick Dallas other than, I can’t see them going down 0-3. Stay away from this one.
Detroit +11 @ Minnesota
Why would you bet against Detroit here? No, you read that correctly. They have had more big plays than Minny has, and Favre is dejected. Favre already came out and said something along the lines of, “I make mistakes when we’re in a hole”. Well, Minny is in a hell of a hole and I don’t see them covering. Detroit will keep it within ten. Take the Lions.
Pittsburgh -2.5 @ Tampa Bay
I’m not a believer in Tampa Bay. I am a believer in Pittsburgh’s defense. Pitt covers.
San Francisco @ Kansas City +3
This is a steal. Bet KC heavy because I don’t know if the younger football fans realize this, but Arrowhead is a very hard place to play. The Niners aren’t coached well and teams that aren’t coached well don’t play well. They screw up and turn the ball over a lot (See: Monday Night Game, Week 2). The Chiefs will win this game outright.
Tennessee +3 @ New York Giants
I have no idea what to think of either team. I like Jeff Fisher more than Tom Coughlin, so there. Take the Titans, I guess. (Seriously, if you bet that game after my B.S. write up on it, you have a problem.)
Philadelphia -3 @ Jacksonville
Jax can’t stop the pass. Eagles are really confident with Vick on the field. I like the Eagles.
Washington -4.5 @ St. Louis
If Washington can’t win this by a touchdown or more, they aren’t the “solid” team that many are claiming them to be.
Indianapolis -6 @ Denver
I don’t like games where there is emotion involved from the death of a player or other person close to the organization. Still, I think the Colts as a team are much closer to the week two performance than the week one. Colts by ten.
Oakland +4.5 @ Arizona
Derek Anderson doesn’t do it for me. Neither does Bruce Gradkowski but I think the Cardinals are dead in the water. Have a hunch on Oakland this week.
San Diego -5 @ Seattle
It’s never a good sign when your coach spends time during the week on twitter. I’m looking at you, Pete Carroll. Bolts in this one.
New York Jets @ Miami -1.5
People are sleeping on the Dolphins but did you know that they are tied with the Jets and Pats as far as Vegas is concerned as the favorites to win the AFC East? There is a reason. Parcells has this ship in the right direction. Plus, I’d love to see Rex Ryan and the rest of the Jets go screw themselves. Miami.
Green Bay -3 @ Chicago
This is the week Cutler throws three interceptions and the Packers and Aaron Rodgers stake their claim as the best team in the NFC, on national television.